turante: (superman!)
[personal profile] turante
Time for more CRACKFIC, I reckon.
So, ladies, gentlemen and genderconfused lurkers...

Warning: contains absolute and senseless crack, reference to most characters, a lot of strange things implied. And GLITTERY/HEARTY/SPARKLY/OVERSIZED text.

For you, [livejournal.com profile] fengirl88, who asked so politely, and for everyone else who wanted more rambling!Anderson.

Anderson's Diarty, Part 2/?

October 3rd


Woke up at 2pm, with a massive hangover, wearing a red bra and knickers and no recollection of previous night.
This is very bad.
Lestrade called, asking why his samples aren’t in the lab.
WHAT THE FUCK?!


October 4th

Spent most of last night and this morning tearing the lab apart in search of missing samples.
Around midday the amateur detective shows up and waves a bag in my face, asking if I'd lost something.
Pretty sure he picked my pockets the other night.


October 4th, addendum

Got home, couldn't open the door because apparently my keys are not in my pockets.
And my spare key is not at its usual place.
Damn pouf, pickpocked me again.
The wife is out of town for a the rest of the week, and the landlord is on vacation in some distant tropical land (finding recent raise in rent suspicious now) so I thought I'd phone Sally.
Awkward conversation but she agreed to let me sleep on her sofa.


October 5th

My wife isn't the only one incapable of cooking breakfast, apparently.
I swear my eggs were threatening me with salmonella. Or warning me to run away.
I've never mastered the language of eggs.
A bit queasy now.


October 6th

Lestrade closed case and offered us all a celebratory drink.
At 4 pm.
Having a few doubts.
Sherlock Holmes was there too, even if he didn't drink at all and didn't speak much.
Tried to chat with L but Sally got in the way.
Tried to politely and gently let her down but by the time I was free L and Holmes were nowhere to be found.
ç_ç


October 9th

Someone has started untruthful rumours about me that may do lasting damage to my marriage, should the wife ever hear them.


October 9th, addendum

Presumably the same someone who started the rumours also wrote and circulated a memo.
NOT FUNNY, GUYS. JUST NOT FUNNY.


October 10th

This has gone too far, I am going to HR this afternoon to put a stop to that.
A mail has been forwarded to the entire Yard -including the cleaning lady- with this header:

and this link with my name on it.
Again, NOT FUNNY.


October 11th

♥Lestrade♥ arrested Sherlock Holmes today.
Oh, GLORIOUS, MAGNIFICENT, WONDERFUL DAY!
Rumour around the Met says it's for possession of drugs.


October 12th

Obscenely early this morning a man in an old fashioned suit and swinging an umbrella (am not kidding, a real bloody umbrella) showed up, talked quietly to L, who protested and cursed loud enough to be heard on the other side of the Thames, but eventually convinced (? more like blackmailed, I think) the DI to release Sherlock and take him home and take the rest of the day off.
WTF? And what am I supposed to stare at for the rest of the day?


ps: this picks up directly after the end of part 1, which you may find HERE

Date: 11/02/2011 01:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stellary.livejournal.com
Muahahahaha! 9 reasons not date a t rex - brb LMAO XD
I wouldn't mind more of this series, wouldn't mind at all.

Date: 11/02/2011 09:50 (UTC)
ext_414334: Arthur (Default)
From: [identity profile] turante.livejournal.com
eheheh, that was what got me inspired. Feed me dinosaur jokes and you'll have more frustrated Anderson!

Date: 11/02/2011 02:55 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] himawarivy.livejournal.com
Can’t stop laughing. Absolutely want more!
*So funny, guys. Just so funny.*

Date: 11/02/2011 09:51 (UTC)
ext_414334: Arthur (Default)
From: [identity profile] turante.livejournal.com
\o/ Yay! mission accomplished! (and it wasn't even that funny! I'll try harder next time ;) )

Date: 11/02/2011 06:33 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fengirl88.livejournal.com
squeeeee!!!

happy fengirl is happy

laughing out loud at tyrannosaurus header and A's lingerie

baaaad Sherlock

Date: 11/02/2011 09:55 (UTC)
ext_414334: Arthur (shoe porn)
From: [identity profile] turante.livejournal.com
happy I made you happy! :D
I found the 9 reasons not to date a T-Rex completely by chance last night and thought: THIS. THIS HAS TO BE IN ANDERSON'S DIARY. NOW!!!

Sherlock is seriously giving the piss to Anderson. Poor thing, I'm going to make him suffer a lot more.
At this point I have plans to go on until the 1st of Jan. (Is Anderson-abuse a crime in the UK?... hmmm no? good.)

ps: your icon fills my head with very naughty thoughts.

Date: 13/02/2011 16:09 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rusty-armour.livejournal.com
GREAT sequel! :-) I think I liked the last two entries best. This put a huge grin on my face:

Obscenely early this morning a man in an old fashioned suit and swinging an umbrella (am not kidding, a real bloody umbrella) showed up, talked quietly to L, who protested and cursed loud enough to be heard on the other side of the Thames, but eventually convinced (? more like blackmailed, I think) the DI to release Sherlock and take him home and take the rest of the day off.

WTF? And what am I supposed to stare at for the rest of the day?


Please write more. These diary entries are priceless.

Date: 13/02/2011 18:22 (UTC)
ext_414334: Arthur (Default)
From: [identity profile] turante.livejournal.com
Thanks thanks thanks!
More will come, eventually. I promise. I just had an idea... :)

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